Survey Part Two

myspace ♥ survey
BASiC iNF0
name:	Alexandra
nicknames:	Ali, Al, Alex, Albix, Labix, Turbo
age:	19
birthday:	March 17th
location:	Cowtown
school/grade:	Going into second year of university
backgrounds:	European, mostly Germanic with some British roots
siblings:	Two older brothers
straight/bi/gay:	Straight
job:	Student
APPEARANCE
hair color:	Brunette Streaked Blonde
eye color:	Brown eyes girl
height:	5'9
ethnicity:	See above (Backgrounds)
label:	Athlete, Preppy
look like a celeb:	I've been told I have but I don't know
dye your hair:	Tis fun to do
have bangs:	Used to
have braces:	Used to
wear glasses:	Yes
wear contacts:	Yes
piercings:	Had to take out my ear piercings for sports
tattoos:	None
favorites
color:	Chocolate Brown, Pink and Blue
movie:	Too many! All time favorites? A Hard Day's Night and Help -- movies by The Belates
tv show:	CSI, Grey's Anatomy, Sex and the City, House, OC
animal:	Dogs
food:	Steak!
drink:	Iced Tea/Lemonade
alcoholic drink:	Long Island Iced Tea or shots
car:	Dream car? Porsche 911
day of the week:	Friday
season:	Summer
song:	Eight Days a Week--The Beatles
sport:	Oooo tough one--rugby
radio station:	I listen to CD's over the radio
resturant:	Depends on what I feel like for food
teacher:	There have been a couple memorable ones :)
class:	High School: Biology/University: Microbiology and Honors Calc
holiday:	Christmas
quote:	"My body can stand the crutches but my mind can't stand the sidelines"~Michael Jordan
book:	Too many to name.
magazine:	Slam
flower:	Gerber Daises, Orchids and Stargazer Lilies
memory:	I cherish all memories
tv channel:	TBS
LAST
person you hugged:	My mom
person you kissed:	Kissed romantically or friend kiss? Two different answers.
thing you said:	I don't remember exactly what I said--I was talking to a friend about getting together early next week
thing you ate:	Chicken Sandwich
imed:	Don't remember--that was the wee hours this morning
texted:	Last person? Joshua five seconds ago
you called:	Physio
called you:	Andrew
person you saw:	My mom
you have a long convo with:	Barry Yee
FRiENDS
prettiest:	All my girlfriends are beautiful!
stupidest:	Haha, if they're stupid, they're not my friends..jk!
smartest:	Haha Adam--only person in our group that beat my GPA
best house:	Lauren
best car:	Matt
best parents:	Mine :) haha
loudest:	Sarah--in a good way :)
funniest:	Too many to name
craziest:	Again too many to name--some of my crazy university friends would be in this section
most shy:	Serena if she doesn't know anyone
always has a boyfriend/girlfriend:	Haha, my friends would probably pick me.
always has parties:	There a couple.
best girl friend:	I have a few special ones--they know who they are :)
best guy friend:	I have a few special ones again--and they know who they are :)
known the longest:	Katherine--how long has it been now? 16 years?
known the shortest:	Eric
look up to the most:	I look up to all my friends in one way or another
opinionated:	Jamie
athletic:	Ty
most likely to pass out drunk:	Stefan
to go streaking:	Stefan
become a cop:	None
become famous:	Caroline
kill someone:	None
try to take over the world:	Sylvain
THiS 0R THAT
summer or winter:	Summer
dog or cat:	Dog
pepsi or coke:	Coke
cellphone or ipod:	Ipod
ocean or pool:	Ocean
black or white:	Black
chocolate or vanilla:	Swirl
flowers or candy:	Flowers
rock or rap:	Rap--unless it's true oldies rock
tv or movie:	Movie
aim or myspace:	Myspace
stars or hearts:	Stars
bracelet or necklace:	Necklace
gold or silver:	Silver
brunette or blonde:	Brunette
kisses or hugs:	Both
pen or pencil:	Pen
lb or oc:	What?
iN THE PAST MONTH
drank:	Yes
smoked:	No--never have
failed a test:	No--never have
had sex:	No--never have
been home alone:	Yes
stayed home from school:	Haven't had school in the last month
been to the mall:	Yes
bought a book:	Bought nine of them
been to a show/concert:	No but I am going to Third Day soon!
yelled at someone:	No
got into a fight/argument:	Yes
cried to a friend:	Yes
told the truth:	Yes
told a lie:	Probably--except I suck at it
been out of state:	No
iN Y0UR R00M
tv:	No
your own phone:	No
your own phone line:	No
vcr:	No
dvd player:	No
radio:	No
computer:	Yes--Laptop
posters:	Not yet up on the walls yet
of what?:	The Beatles
pictures:	Yes
of who?:	Family and Friends
RELATi0NSHiPS
taken or single:	Personal.
got a crush:	Personal.
name pleaseee:	Personal.
how far have you gone:	Personal.
how far do you want to go:	Personal.
last person you said i love you to:	Personal.
C0UNTD0WN
10 PE0PLE WH0 MEAN A L0T T0 Y0U
1:::	Barry, Rowan
2:::	Andrew, Kevin
3:::	Caroline, Joel
4:::	Sarah, Kat
5:::	Katy, My mom
6:::	Ken, My dad
7:::	Lisa, Colin
8:::	Serena, David
9:::	Nick, Alex
10:::	Martine, Jess
9 THiNGS Y0U L0VE
1:::	Music
2:::	Sports
3:::	Travelling
4:::	Dogs
5:::	Tanning
6:::	Clothing shopping
7:::	University
8:::	Genetics
9:::	My family
8 THiNGS Y0U HATE
1:::	Disrespect
2:::	Seafood
3:::	Injuries
4:::	Allergies
5:::	Fights
6:::	Death
7:::	Cold weather
8:::	Saying goodbye
7 THiNGS Y0U CAN'T LIVE WiTH0UT
1:::	God
2:::	My family
3:::	My friends
4:::	My dog
5:::	My basketball
6:::	My laptop
7:::	My lucky shoes
6 THiNGS Y0U'RE WEARiNG RiGHT N0W
1:::	Spandex Shirt
2:::	Spandex Shorts
3:::	Nike Socks
4:::	Knee Brace
5:::	Grad Ring
6:::	Watch
5 THiNGS Y0U'D RATHER BE D0iNG
1:::	Playing rugby
2:::	Running
3:::	Tanning
4:::	Hanging out with friends
5:::	Travelling
4 0F Y0UR FAV0RiTE ST0RES
1:::	'Discovering Myself' in Italy
2:::	'Fart Markers'
3:::	Disneyworld Stories
4:::	'12 inch steak' story
3 THiNGS Y0U'D TAKE T0 A DESSERTED iSLAND
1:::	My loved one
2:::	My running shoes
3:::	My bible
2 0F Y0UR FAV0RiTE THiNGS
1:::	My bible
2:::	My basketball
1 PERS0N Y0U MiSS RiGHT N0W
1:::	Karen--in Austrailia
DiD Y0U...
like the survey:	Meh--seen better
wish it were over 5 minutes ago:	Probably
lie about anything:	No
Take this survey | Find more surveys You've been totally Bzoink*d

Random Surveys Part One

100 Questions For Your Answering Pleasure!
Basics
Name::	Alexandra
Age::	19
Height::	5'9
Hair Color::	Brunette
Eye Color::	Brown Eyed Girl
School Life
What's your school's mascot?:	Bear/Panda Bear
School color(s)?:	Green and Gold
G.P.A.?:	Dean's List
Who is your favorite teacher?:	Past: Barry Yee/Present: Dr. Harrington
What do they teach?:	Past: Biology/Present: Genetics
Is this your favorite class?:	Yes
Internet
Do you use any instant messengers?:	Too many!
If so, which ones?:	MSN, Yahoo, Mercury
About how many hours a day do you spend online?:	Again--probably too many in the wee hours of the morning
Do you have a digital camera?:	I wish I could afford one--I use my moms
If so, do you post pictures of yourself online?:	Yes, I do have pictures posted online
Music
Do you play any instruments?:	Yes
If so, what one(s)?:	Piano (high enough level to teach) and learning guitar
3 Favorite Genres Of Music::	Oldies (I should have been born in the 60's), Rap, Pop
3 Favorite Bands::	1. The Beatles 2. U2 3. Red Hot Chili Peppers
Do you go to concerts and/or shows?:	As much as I can afford
What is the most you've ever spent on a concert/show?:	$100 a ticket
What is the least you've ever spent?:	$5 a ticket
Do you think buying merch at a concert then wearing it there is corny?:	Depends if you are a bandwagon fan or not
Do you listen to any bands that you'd be ashamed to admit to listening to?:	Who doesn't?:)
Did you notice the grammatical error in question 29?:	...I think this is question 26
Word Association
Blue::	Sad
Camera::	Photobooth
Boy::	Heh heh
Pretty::	Girl
Pants::	Off (lol!)
Music::	Relaxing
God::	Hero
Sweater::	Eww
Live Journal::	Not as good as blogger
MTV::	Cool?
Labels:
Do you think labels are dumb?:	Define dumb! I think they usually are wrong
Why or why not?:	They're usually wrong because they are based off first impressions
What do people label you as?:	Athlete/Jock
How/Why did you get this label?:	Because I am obsessed with sports and nutrition
Which Is Worse?
Physical Pain/Emotional Pain?:	Emotional pain
Blink-182/Good Charlotte?:	Both are pretty bad but Good Charlotte is worse
Being Deaf/Being Blind?:	Being blind
Being Bored/Rushing around because you have too much to do?:	Being bored
Losing your dominant leg/Losing your dominant arm?:	Dominant leg
Love
Do you believe theres a difference between "love" and "in love"?:	Yah, one describes an emotion and the other describes an emotion you feel
Is it better to have loved and lossed than to have never loved at all?:	100% without a doubt
Are you romantic?:	A hopeless one indeed (hopeless romantic)
Are you in a relationship now?:	Relationships can be considered friendships as well
If so, for how long?:	Lots of friendships for lots of periods of time
If not, how long have you been single?:	I've never been single for very long
Are you a virgin?:	Yes--I'm a Christian, they go hand in hand
What song describes your love life right now?:	I want to hold your hand-The Beatles
Ranomosity
War: Good or Bad?:	As long as it is for a cause
What do you think of designer labels?:	They're overrated
Who's skankier: Britney Spears or Paris Hilton?:	...tough choice
What is it with guys and cars?:	Compensation?
Do you sing?:	In the shower
If so, what part (Soprano 1,Alto 2, et cetera)?:	...haha not that well
Kiss or hug?:	Both!
What color is your room?:	Chocolate brown with pink
How old is your mom?:	Haha she always says "29"
Black and white or color photos?:	Depends, black and white has a nice effect
Who cuts your hair?:	A fancy hair salon
What color is your toothbrush?:	Blue--one of my favorite colors
What color is your hair brush?:	...black?
What kind of hair products do you use?:	Aveda
Is K-Mart just the poor man's Wal-Mart?:	K Mart is American
Are you sXe?:	What?
Are you sexy?:	Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
What color to people tells you looks nice on you?:	Earth tones--brown, orange, green
What color do you think looks nice on you?:	Same--earth tones
Clothes shopping or grocery shopping?:	Clothing!
Who do you sit with at lunch?
Do you like the sound of your own voice when you hear it played back?:	Haha does anyone?
Who has the nicest speaking voice that you know?:	Depends--some voices are sexy, some are soothing, so define "nice"
What is the website for one of your favorite bands?:	http://www.beatles.com/
Do you prefer to date people younger, older, or the same age as you?:	Same age or older.
Do you listen to songs on repeat often?:	Yah, I tend to love a song and over play it
Who was the last person you hung out with?:	My neighbors two kids this afternoon
What did you and that person do?:	Taught one of them how to ride a bike
Do you use internet shorthand (i.e. "lol", "brb", "jk", et cetera)?:	Sure do!
How often do you bathe?:	Bath? To Relax--shower? Usually everyday
Are you a people-pleaser?:	Sure am!
Do you dye your hair regularly?:	Yah! haha, it's fun
What about your eyebrows?:	No
Do you wear makeup?:	Sometimes
If you answered "yes", to #96, are you female?:	I really don't want to count which one is "96"
Do you buy CDs edited or unedited?:	Unedited preferably
Can you beatbox?:	I wish
Does your mom like the song "Hey Ya" by OutKast?:	I don't think she's ever heard it
Take this survey | Find more surveys You've been totally Bzoink*d

From my heart to yours.

Exerpt From:
Tunnel
Third Day

Well, I won't pretend to know what you're thinking,
And I can't begin to know what you're going through...
And I won't deny the pain that you're feeling,
But I'm going to try and give a little hope to you,
Just remember what I told you,
There's so much you're living for...

There's a light at the end of this tunnel,
There's a light at the end of this tunnel for you,
For you.
There's a light at the end of this tunnel,
Shining bright at the end of this tunnel for you,
For you.
So keep holding on.

You got your disappointments and sorrows,
You ought to share the weight of that load,
Then you will find that the light of tomorrow,
Well it brings new life for your eyes to see,
So remember what I told you--
There's so much you living for.

Happy Days.

I am so incredibly happy right now--my day was just made by the incredible thoughfulness of someone who brought me a build-a-bear and a puzzle game.

To answer your question:
No I am not too old for a Build-a-bear, you can never grow out of stuffed animals! :) Nothing better than having something to cuddle at night.

Thanks so much, again, it just meant the world to me.

Quick Question.

Third Day Concert
July 16th, 2006: 6:00pm

Anyone interested?

B-O-R-E-D.

{From "Ain't No Other Man"~Christina Aguilera}
I could feel it from the start...couldn't stand to be apart. Something 'bout you caught my eye, something moved me deep inside. Don't know what you did boy but you had it and I've been hooked ever since.

I think I need something to keep me busy--something that makes me feel productive while 'obeying' the doctors and parents wishes to take it easy. What does this mean? This means I have to ice and keep my leg up and somehow figure out a way to preoccupy this ADD mind with a body that is used to going full throttle forward.

Racing.

I am slowly going crazy--1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, switch!
Crazy going slowly am I--6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!

Wow...the things you think of when you're mind races when you're body can't.

I've decided to try and be an optimist through this--although my heart is racing in anxiety, I will have faith. Last year with my bad accident, my favorite sport was taken away from me. This year I took up track and I started to absolutely love running. Now they're saying that with torn meniscus in my knee, I may never be a runner again. Well, my competitive side says--I'll show them. My logical side says there might be education behind their words while my faith side says to be an optimist. God has a plan for my life and for once he's making me sit still. I'll just have to be patient.

Can't help falling.

This is a little random comment...I was thinking about attractions that we develop for people around us--and the nature of the very attraction itself.

As I thought about the idea of being physically attracted to someone, my mind wondered as it sometimes does with A.D.D. and I remembered a movie titled "The Laws of Attraction" that came out in 2004, and then I thought--'well isn't there more movies titled in similar ways?' Well there is "The Rules of Attaction" that came out in 2002...then I ask myself--what is our fascination with giving rules to an instinct such as an attraction to another person? I mean, it's like trying to control the uncontrollable. You can't control attractions unless you create rules for yourself to abide by...this makes me think that both of those movies were created by people with Type A personalities. Silly people always trying to control what they can't control. Half the fun is mystery!

Click.

Last Summer
By: Lost Prophets

The Friday sun bears down again
As we drive without friends
And on these longest days we spend
All the time trying to pretend
That our stories could be true
Our chance to be cool
The setting sunset says the day is through
If only we knew...
And we all sit around here in our home town
Listen to the waves as they all crash down
And watch the fire as it slowly burns away
Glowing embers fly across the sky

Here by my side, in my summer, our last summer
The world passes by in my summer, our last summer
The light makes shadows fall, surrounded by each other
Alive to watch it all, the view from our last summer
The view from our last summer...
We trace the sun across the sky

And we laugh till we cry
Always so hard to say goodbye (good bye)
And we all sit round here in our home town
It's so good like this, these are times we'll miss
The memories, I hope they'll never fade
Glowing embers lie across the sky

Here by my side, in my summer, our last summer
The world passes by in my summer, our last summer
The light makes shadows fall, surrounded by each other
Alive to watch it all, the view through our last summer
The view from our last summer...

I would stop time to stay with you
I would stop time so we don't move
I would stop time
I would stop time
I would stop time to keep you

Here by my side, in my summer, our last summer
The world passes by in my summer, our last summer
The light makes shadows fall, surrounded by each other
Alive to watch it all, the view from our last summer

The air I'm breathing.

I'm in one of those moods again--the kind where you just want to get up and start dancing like an idiot because you know no one is watching (except for the dog)...

[From Dive-Steven Curtis Chapman]

Take a leap of faith--so here I go...

I'm diving in, I'm going deep, In over my head I wanna be, caught in the rush, lost in the flow, in over my head I wanna go--the river's deep, the river's wide, the river's water is alive...so sink or swim--I'm diving in.

Sadly right now the extent of my music dancing skills involve bobbing in my chair for if I danced with my crutches--knowing my luck I'd probably wipe out. But I'm thinking it would be fun while it lasted :)

There is no turning back once my feet have left the ground...

Meet the Parents.

You can milk just about anything with nipples...
I have nipples, Greg, could you milk me?

Don't you just love meeting the parents? The family? Officially? I do--especially when it goes so smoothly that you can't help but think--did that actually happen?

I am lucky that people are visiting me to help me keep my sanity. If they weren't, I think I'd be bored laying in bed all day 'taking it easy'. Today I got referred to an orthopedic knee specialist so by the end of the weekend--I should have an appointment set up to see him/her. Tomorrow I have physio...it's just all a party.

On an up note--there is a positive thing about being injured...everyone seems compelled to give me flowers. I love this! haha, my room is going to smell so pretty! So thank-you to all of you who brought me flowers today, it meant just the world to me. It brought a little ray of sunshine into my day :)

Want to be free--feel the way I feel...

Quote.

My body can stand the crutches--but my mind can't stand the sideline...
~Michael Jordan

Camping trip cut short.

For those of you who didn't know--I was on a camping trip in Banff this week--I came home today when I was supposed to go home on Thursday.

Do you ever have one of those days where you start to think, "What was I thinking?"...well today was one of those for me! haha. I was hiking up through Bow Falls, being a goof (like always) and posing for funny pictures. I began to jump over things, around things, climbing up off the path...well you get the idea. The last jump ended in me ... not landing. I won't even lie, I wasn't even close to landing this jump. I came down on my left leg and it just gave out on me. Next thing I know, I'm a twisted pretzel on the ground. Now I look back and think....What was I thinking? Or more importantly, was I even thinking at all? Good news? I got some sweet pictures to show for it. That's always a bonus.

So now, I am back home, in crutches and have to get an MRI scheduled rather soon.

Typical me.
Being a klutz.

Happy Father's Day.

Little girls love their daddies--even after they're all grown up...

This one is for you dad--the song you used to sing me when I was little...

Butterfly Kisses
By: Bob Carlisle

There's two things I know for sure--
She was sent here from Heaven,
And she's daddys little girl.
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night,
She talks to Jesus and I close my eyes,
And I thank God for all of the joy in my life,
Oh but most of all...

For butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer,
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair,
Walk beside the pony daddy,
It's my first ride.
I know the cake looks funny daddy,
But I sure tried,
Oh with all that I've done wrong--
I must have done something right,
To deseve a hug every morning,
And butterfly kisses at night...

Sweet 16 today,
She's looking like her mama,
A little more every day...
One part woman,
The other part girl,
To perfume and make up,
From ribbons and curls,
Trying her wings out in a great big world,
But I remember...

Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer,
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair,
You know how much I love you daddy--
But if you don't mind,
I'm only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time,
Oh with all that I've done wrong,
I must have done something right...
To deserve her love every morning,
And butterfly kisses at night...

All the precious time,
Like the wind the years go by,
Precious Butterfly,
Spread your wings and fly...

She'll change her name today,
She'll make a promise and I'll give her away,
Standing in the bride room just staring at her,
She asked me what I'm thinking,
And I said I'm not sure,
I just feel like I'm loosing my baby girl,
And she leaned over...

And gave me butterfly kisses with her mama there,
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair,
Walk me down the isle daddy,
It's just about time,
Does my wedding gown look pretty daddy?
Daddy don't cry...
Oh with all that I've done wrong,
I must have done something right,
To deserve her love every morning and butterfly kisses,
I couldn't ask God for more than this is what love is,
I know I've got to let her go but I'll always remember,
Every hug in the morning and butterly kisses...

The taste of summer sweetness on my mind.

Let's go dance under the streetlights...

I am in such a dancing mood--for those who know me, they know this is a sign of my happiness being no longer able to be contained. I am sure I am sitting here smiling like a fool...and I wouldn't have it any other way! :)

It just feels like a burden in my life has been removed--and I have to be honest, I haven't stopped smiling in the last forty-eight hours. (I'm sure I'm even smiling in my sleep!)

Yay for smiles.

I really have nothing of any importance to say...other than that I love this. I am feeling good and I think everyone should just pause their day to think of just how lucky they are.

Share a smile.

Love heals your heart.

Time...where did you go? Why did you leave me here--alone? Wait--don't go so fast, I'm missing the moments as they pass.

Ever feel caught in a mess of things called 'life'? I think in these times where we can't tell which way is up, it is important that we stop--put our lives on hold and look at our priorities. Today I awoke and it was pouring rain, most people would have just been happy to roll over and go back to sleep knowing that rain meant no work for the day. But I got up and realized that I've been going to fast and I haven't taken a moment to just look at my life. Today was what I believe God's way of telling me to slow down and show the people that I love that I truly do care by being there for them. And guess what? I feel complete, I feel happy--last night I was a wreck, but today was a new day and I couldn't feel better.

Thank you--I truly don't know where I'd be without people like you in my life.

Old Poems.

I started to write as a way of expressing emotions I found unfathomable--emotions that I found I needed to release in the hardest days of my life. I thought I'd take this chance to make a tribute to some of my first poems back when I was in grade ten, dealing with the death of beloved Marissa.

The Power of I Love You

Did you ever say I love you?
As the breeze carried your words away...
Did you feel them as they lingered,
Then slowly drifted on their way?

Did they journey a ways, searching for,
The distant love, you long to find,
You miss her, she's listening,
From words from heart and mind.

Did you ever hear I love you?
As the wind blew through the trees,
Closed your eyes and felt her again,
As they came quietly in the breeze.

Did you ever say I love you?
And hear it in return,
Feeling your lost one beside you,
And the tears within you burn...

Did you ever see I love you?
Floating quietly to you with ease,
She's gone from sight, but not from mind,
As she whispers, I love you in the breeze...

Please, Please Tell Me You’re Still Proud…

As gentle winds sweep away the days,
I look back through life’s haze,
Remembering smiles, laughter and friends,
In a child like gaze, that never ends…
The laughter in a game of catch,
Shall always be a memory to attach,
To innocence in youthful eyes,
The bliss of friendship is a true surprise.

I recall the bad days when I was a wreck,
Who picked me up and said, “What the heck?”
Convinced me to give one more try,
With hands steady…I forgot to cry.
Just the joy in knowing she was there,
Making her proud was my only care.
There was nothing I couldn’t do,
My heart held fast, for I knew it true.

Through early teenage years that were rough,
She and I had no fear, for in each other we were tough.
She taught me to defend what’s right,
And to never start a careless fight…
So I learned through her a way to stand,
Still, with each fright, I found her hand,
Drawing from her this inner strength,
And a stubborn pride of equal length.

But there the line of fate was drawn,
It was if I’d blinked and you were gone…
I found myself facing the sun,
No longer a pair, but as just one…
Eyes blinded by the void inside,
I could no longer live, for you have died,
Alas finding it to be true…
I was nothing without you.

Today, just now, hear my call—
I’m sorry that I can’t stand tall,
I’m tired of falling, my knees are skinned,
My emotions—undisciplined.
I can’t get up, despite I try,
All I can do is cry,
And though I can’t fight what I can’t see…
Please, please, tell me you’re still proud of me.

Rest for the weary.

To everyone who's lost someone they love--long before it was their time...you feel like the days you had were not enough, when you said goodbye...[RIP] And to all of the people with burdens and pains, keeping you back from your life, you believe that there's nothing and there is no one who can make it right...

There is hope for the helpless, rest for the weary, and love for the broken hearts. There is grace and forgiveness, mercy and healing, He'll meet you wherever you are.

For the marriage that's struggling just to hang on--they lost all their faith in love...and they've done all they can to make it right again, still it's not enough. For the ones who can't break the addictions and chains, you try to give up but you come back again. Just remember that you're not alone in your shame and your suffering...

There is hope for the helpless, rest for the weary, and love for the broken hearts. There is grace and forgiveness, mercy and healing, He'll meet you wherever you are.


When you're lonely, and it feels like the whole world is falling on you, you just reach out, you just cry out to Jesus.

To the widow who suffers from being alone, wiping the tears from her eyes...or the children around the world without a home, say a prayer tonight...say a prayer tonight...

Cry to Jesus.

It's amazing isn't it--the power of faith? There exists this amazing feeling to just pray and feel comfort--this ability to bring more meaning to our life here on earth. On days like today when we feel like we're running on low, God sends us little angels--little reminders of hope. Today God gave me an angel in the form of a friend...he'll never know just how much he means to me....

Stop and Pray.

Sometimes when we lose hope we have to stop and pray...

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.

I will live one day at a time;
Enjoy one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as a pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
As it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His will;
That I may be reasonally happy in this life,
And surpremely happy with Him forever in the next.
Amen.

What's left of me.

Resolution
Nick Lachey

Nothing but an empty page
Breathing in an open space
Captured by your moment's grace again
There's so much I left behind
Even more that waits in time
Everything's so undefined
I'm standing on the edge of my fear
And I see it clear

Here's my resolution
I'm letting go
All I need to learn is along this road
And I just want to be the best man I can be
Breathe, it's my resolution

Living life without a plan
Finding solace where I stand
And learning how to love again
And all I want is something real
That I can feel

Here's my resolution
I'm letting go
All I need to learn is along this road
And I just wanna be the best man I can be

'Cause here's my resolution
I'm letting go
All I need to learn is along this road
And I just wanna be the best man I can be
Breathe, it's my resolution

My resolution.

Setting the stage.

The feeling of being tired is slowly taking over...

I was up this morning till 5am (despite Nick's advisory to head to bed)--all I have to say is time just really flies when you talk to someone you care a lot about. I didn't even notice the time till it was too late (literally) haha. As a result of the late night, I slept after going to church (two hours after I went to bed). I awoke the second time at 12:30, and felt just as tired as the first time I woke up. But the day quickly brought me smiles, I went out to lunch with a dear friend, then headed straight there to soccer. I was teased for showing up to soccer in a skirt and flip flops (it's not like I was planning on wearing that to play!)--I just figured I'd change on the field when I got there. After doing some running and passing drills, we played small scrimmages, 4v4 (4 versus 4), shirts versus skins. I got picked on the skins team and ran around in my spandex and sports bra. I must say, it was a riot.

When I got home I quickly changed and took Holly to the park...now, I don't have much to say about my forsight...other than it fails me. You'd think with a ceiling of black clouds I'd realize, "Hey Alex, don't wear white on your walk"...but no, I didn't realize it, I just threw on a white tank top and jeans and went out the door. While down in the valley, playing with Holly, I heard thunder and it started to pour. Lucky me, I got to run home in the rain with a see through shirt. *sigh* Sometimes, I am so absent minded.

That tired feeling.

Ever feel so tired that it could be mistaken for feeling hungover?

Today is another cloudy day here--it's sad because I can't work on my tan but at the same time it is a nicer atmosphere for a run.

Sidenote: I 'blew' the no drinking again--so I went for another two hour run this morning. It was refreshing.

Now I sit here, about to go out to the Farmer's Market with one of my girlfriends--and I wonder...do I make the call? I have the number...the ball is completely in my court...what do I do? Do I hold the ball? A moment's hesitation could give my opponent the opportunity to take control...Do I pass off the ball? Willingly acknowledging that this isn't 'my shot'? Or do I take that shot, and hope for nothing but net? While most people would probably jump at the chance to shoot, I realize I'm not most people. While most people would take action, I sit here writing analogies on my internet blog...that's just how cool I am...haha.

(I love basketball...)

Anyways--my solid plans for the day (as in the ones I have completely decided, not the ones I am still on the fence about)...
- Enjoy the farmer's market with Cathy.
- Work. Unfortunately--there is always work to be done.
- Go the airport at 5:30 to welcome my brothers fiancee back home from her six week vacation. Then give them their time alone. haha.
- Go to a movie with my mom.

Now I am left with one thought in mind...
Do I pass?
Do I hold?
Do I shoot?

I am in the triple threat position.

Smiles.

This brought a tear to my eye...

You've Got a Friend
Carole King

When you're down and troubled
And you need some loving care
And nothing, nothing is going right
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest night

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there
You've got a friend

If the sky above you
Grows dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind begins to blow
Keep your head together
And call my name out loud
Soon you'll hear me knocking at your door

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there

Ain't it good to know that you've got a friend
When people can be so cold
They'll hurt you, and desert you
And take your soul if you let them
Oh, but don't you let them

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there
You've got a friend

A little bit of this--a little bit of that.

Today was a mix of everything--from yard work, to painting, to playing soccer to a last minute get together at Starbucks. I'd say the day went rather well overall :)

I overslept this morning, which I rarely do! I guess it's from the lack of sleep lately in my life (which has been completely my own fault and 100% worth it). I slept in so late that I didn't have time to shower or eat breakfast, just enough time however to throw on my spandex shorts (because I thought it would be another hot day) and a tshirt given to me by a guy that reads, "I'm his because he appreciates perfection." It's a funny shirt, but seeing as it doesn't reflect my character or my attitude, I only wear it when I know I won't see people haha. I must say, if I had seen anyone I had known this morning I would have been rather embaressed.

I went on to do some painting but sadly due to the idea of rain that seemed to be rolling in--I had to stop (didn't want the fresh paint to be ruined by the rain). So I moved on to some yard work--it was rather boring but with the help of my Ipod, the time passed at a decent rate. After yard work, I went home, had breakfast (at about 2:30 in the afternoon haha) and spent some time catching up with several friends on the phone.

Note: At this point in time, I was still looking pretty haggered, still not showered, no makeup, my hair wasn't done...the works haha. At least I changed out of the spandex and the tshirt!

At this point, Ken and I decided we wanted to go out and kick around a soccer ball. This was fun, but he really made me look bad. Soccer has never been a sport I've played or practised but if I put my mind to it, with just a little bit of work, I should manage to come out a decent player. So far? I've always been able to run, and always been able to be quick on my feet, now it's just keeping the ball in my feet while I run. Tomorrow when I go out for a run, I'll take my soccerball and make myself run with it.

Note: I forgot how bad I looked and didn't care that Ken saw me, unshowered, no make up and nothing done to my hair--after all, he is an ex boyfriend and is well aware what I look like on these kinds of days!

In the middle of soccer I was texting a friend, who decided we should come down to Starbucks before he went off to Volleyball. So we quickly made it down there for a ten minute visit before he had to run. But of course, it was well worth it. At this point I totally forgot that I wasn't looking my best (it was probably the opposite of my best...) and was actually a tad bit embaressed that I was at Starbucks to meet my friend looking like I just rolled out of bed!

Oh well...

Tomorrow, I have to set two different alarms so I can't sleep through it, and head off to a new client's place in Springbank to see the work they want done. Depending if the weather holds up, I'll have a lot of work ahead of me tomorrow. If not, I'll have plenty of time before my game, if it does avoid the rainy weather than I may miss my first soccer game :(

Work comes before fun...Too bad eh?

Anyways, I am done for now, I am off to play with my little bundle of energy (my pup).

Ciao.

Somewhere only we know.

Note:This entry ponders on some of the sadder aspects of life--it is no way an indication that I am feeling sad. They are just questions that sometimes I lay awake thinking about. So to answer the question before it is asked--yes, I am okay :)

I walked across an empty land...I knew the pathway like the back of my hand. I felt the earth beneath my feet, sat by the river and it made me complete. Oh simple thing, where have you gone? I'm getting old and I need something to rely on. So tell me when you're gonna let me in, I'm getting tired and I need somwhere to begin. I came across a fallen tree, I felt the branches of it looking at me--is this the place we used to love? Is this the place I've been dreaming of?

This could be the end of everything--so why don't we go somewhere only we know?

Why is it that we can seem to come so far only to be brought back to square one? Sometimes it feels that we can take three steps forward to take two steps back. I suppose as long as our 'net movement' is forward there isn't a whole lot of cause to worry. But still...there is that ever irritating wonder in the back of our head, that makes ourselves ask "What If?". This is a question I deal with far too often, with almost all aspects of my life. I think personally this is something I have to work on, I can't dwell on the past, afterall, what's done, is done and all we have is now.

But still, I wonder...

The hard part now is choosing what I write--I keep backspacing paragraphs and paragraphs that I write because they just don't seem to suit what I want to say. What do I wonder? Well a lot of things--but to narrow the spectrum down to this topic...

I wonder if it's worse to have the chance to say goodbye to the one you love before they pass, or if it's worse to have no closure at all...I don't think this question could ever be answered, for I don't think you can say one is worse than the other when they both just flat out suck (for lack thereof a better word).

I wonder why events in our lives can cause irrational fears. Megan turned left at an uncontrolled intersection and that just happened to be her last recollection of life here on earth. Now, because of it, I fear these left turns at uncontrolled intersections. Is it becasue I feel I too may see my last day? Or is just that I avoid them because they remind me of an event--or more so, a day I'd rather forget?

I was talking with my friend who recently suffered a significant loss in his life. He said it perfectly when he said that he had to grow up overnight. He had to do the unfathomable--in order to be strong for those who needed him as a leader, he had to do exactly what he said--become an adult overnight. So when do we grow up? For some of us, it takes a while and still we never lose our childlike nature, while others feel that they lost their childlike innocence in the blink of an eye. Sometimes I just wonder if an indication of my move towards adulthood was when my greatest fear stopped being heights and started being loosing someone I love. Or was this change of fear a regression towards to being a child again? Who knows.

Boredom.

10 YEARS AGO

How old were you?: 9
What school year were you in?: Grade Three
Where did you go to school?: GCA
Where did you work?: When I was nine? I probably sold lemonade or something little kiddish like that.
Where did you live?: For me to know--same place I live now.
Where did you hang out?: With my friends, horsebackriding lessons--honestly, I don't remember that long ago :)
What was your hair style?: Brunette hair--nothing special, longer with bangs.
Did you wear braces?: Yes.
Did you wear glasses?: No.
Who was your best friend?: Marissa (RIP)
Who was your boyfriend/girlfriend?: Didn't have one--boys had cooties! haha.
Who was your celebrity crush?: Don't think I had one.
Who was your regular-person crush?: Nathan.
How many piercings did you have?: Zero.
How many tattoos did you have?: Zero.
What was your favorite band?: Probably The Newsboys.
What was your biggest fear?: Heights.
Had you smoked a cigarette yet?: Nope.
Had you gotten drunk or high yet?: Nope.
Had you driven yet?: That would have been a disaster.
Had you had sex yet?: That's just gross.
-------------------------------------------

5 YEARS AGO

How old were you?: 14
What school year were you in?: Grade Eight.
Where did you go to school?: Masters.
Where did you work?: Not quite old enough.
Where did you live?: Same place as always.
Where did you hang out?: Basketball courts.
What was your hair style? The same as five years previous.
Did you wear braces?: Not anymore.
Did you wear glasses?: Not yet.
Who was your best friend?: Marissa (RIP)
Who was your boyfriend/girlfriend?: Didn't date anyone till I was fifteen.
Who was your celebrity crush?: Don't remember if I had one.
Who was your regular-person crush?: Probably too many to remember.
How many piercings did you have?: Zero.
How many tattoos did you have?: Zero.
What was your favorite band?: I was all over the map.
What was your biggest fear?: Still heights.
Had you smoked a cigarette yet?: Nope.
Had you gotten drunk/high yet?: Nope.
Had you driven yet?: Yah, I had my learners.
Had you had sex yet?: Definetly not.
-------------------------------------------------- --------------
HA HA HA!!! LETS SEE WHERE YOU ARE NOW !!!!!
-------------------------------------------------- --------------

How old are you?: 19
What school year are you in?: Finished first year of university.
What school do you go to?: No specifics.
Where did you work?: Landscaping.
Where do you live?: Same place as always.
Where do you hang out?: Anywhere and everywhere. Clubs, bars, friends houses, parks...etc.
What is your hair style now?: Medium length, streaked dirty blonde.
Do you wear braces?: No.
Do you wear glasses?: Yes.
Who is your best friend?: Too many to name.
Who is your celebrity crush?: Some are hot, but nothing to the extent of a crush.
Who is your regular-person crush?: Too many to count ;) haha jk...or am I? lol.
How many piercings do you have?: I've had my ears pierced four times, and four times it failed.
How many tattoos?: None.
What is your favorite band?: The Beatles.
What is your biggest fear?: To lose someone I love.
Have you smoked a cigarette yet?: No.
Have you gotten drunk or high yet?: Drunk yes. High no.
Had you driven yet?: All the time.
Had you had sex yet?: No--I believe in waiting.

In the light.

After a nice day of working in the sun, I am finally back inside where it's nice and cool. I got in from work, threw on my spandex shorts and a tanktop and I've been relaxing since.

This is the life.

I was reflecting over my past entries in the last week or so and I noticed the one on bad lines that guys use. Now this wasn't really a line--but it was definetly gutsy of the guy who said it...I was at Limmericks last night with a good friend when we ran into quite a few people I knew. We sat with them and talked for a better part of the night. The guy to my right who will remain un-named was someone I just met. A friend of a friend. Anyways, my cell phone slipped out of my pocket, unfortunately I had to bend down to get it while still sitting in the chair. It fell right beside his chair and my head went down as I leaned to pick it up--of course I apologized to the guy. He said, "No problem *wink* I enjoyed it". My thoughts? Wow, that guy is pretty clever--kudos to him.

Now I sit here, listening to my Beatles CDs and just chatting with friends. For those who do not know me--I am in love with The Beatles. And by 'in love', I could be borderline obsessed with them :) Back at university, I have a memorial in my basement--somewhat of a tribute to the amazing music that I love. It has everything from The Beatles Anthology, to a Revolver (my favorite album) collector lunchbox. I have collected almost every record, most of them originals. I have posters, signs (including an Abbey Road one all the way from the District of Westminster, Abbey Road in London), books, art, postcards, coasters...and I'll stop now before my collection crosses the line between loving them and being obsessed with them :P

My lack of sleep has yet to catch up with me--I think it's been a good week or two since I've slept, but as they all say, I can sleep when I'm old. I have a sneaking suspicion that it will catch up to me at soccer tonight though. That should be interested :)

No Woman, No Cry.

The vote is in.

Alright--so I think I've gotten enough approvals on the frames to actually keep them. Goodbye bank account balance! It's sad really, every pay cheque I get it's like maybe a couple hours of feeling that I have money to spend then it's gone--just like that. If I didn't have to pay for lawn equipment or glasses then I could actually go out and spend money on things I want/enjoy. Like clothes! Yes...I have failed to resist the girly nature taking over, I do indeed enjoy shopping. In high school I would never walk into Gap and see this sweet skirt and say--wow I really want that. Now...well, I said that two days ago :) haha. But the good news is the next pay that comes in, I don't have any major expense to pay for. Now keeping that in mind, I don't spend money on myself very easily, and I probably won't go out and get that skirt, or any other clothes for that matter.

Anyways, moving along.

This morning I went for a two hour run. I may or may not have blown the "can only drink three times this summer" (but it was worth it). So I have decided, when I do this, I have to run an hour for every drink so that it doesn't count. Don't ask, if my logic doesn't make sense just smile and nod. It makes sense up here *points to head*.

Alright, enough surfing of the internet and checking all my online pages. Having myspace/nexopia/facebook/email gets lengthy to check everyday! I got to get to work now, so I'll catch you all on the flip side.

Let love in.

Today--I got glasses and I know without a doubt that most of my friends are probably saying "It's about time Alex". Well let me start by saying that I never used to think that having glasses could be a style...keyword(s): used to.

Other than that, my day was fairly laid back--I did some gardening, finished up all the housework (except for one in which I have to finish before Sunday), did some shopping, visited a friend that just moved into their new house and spent time with Rowan.

I really have nothing of any importance to say--not to say that I ever have anything important to say...tonight just seems more useless.

Fourteen days till a special trip to the airport...
Three months till I move back to being on my own...with the coolest roommate ever...

Could life be any sweeter?

Probably not.

What are the chances?

Okay--question. Do guys really think pick up lines like these work?
Sidenote: These are all current (in the last month) lines that have been used on myself...All girls are victims of lines as bad as these...

~At Starbucks~
Barista: I've seen you in here before.
Me: I usually come in after work every couple of days.
Barista: Ohhhh yah! Where do you work again?
Me: At a golf course in the city.
Barista: Right! I remember now.
Me: *thinks to self*...no you don't, I've never talked to you before.
Barista: So would you like to come by here say around ten when I close? We can, 'hit a bucket of balls'.

~At the Gym~
Guy: So you're a basketball player eh?
Me: *thinks* Well not very original, but I'll give him credit for trying to start a conversation. *says* Yes, I like the game.
Guy: So you must be good with balls then?

~While landscaping today~
Me: *weeding*
Guy: Hey--do you want to see something swell?

~At Staples~
Me: *browsing for CD storage system*
Guy: What can I help you with?
Me: Oh--I am just browsing for some CD storage, thanks!
Guy: You should look at computers, we have a special today.
Me: *thinks* Okay, if I hear his speel he'll hopefully leave. *says* Oh really--what's the special?
Guy: We have a sale on hard drives if you like, our harddrives aren't 3.5 nor are they floppy.

Now this one, I used on my good friend Lisa--I have to admit it's bad, but I managed to pull it off without laughing.

~On the way out to the bar~
Lisa: How do I look?
Me: Those clothes are very becomming on you, then again if I was on you, I'd becomming too!

*laughs hysterically*

These are just some of the ones I remember off the top of my head. This then reminds me of part in the movie "Hitch"...

Hitch (Will Smith): Now, on the one hand, it is very difficult for a man to even speak to someone who looks like you. But, on the other hand, should that be your problem?
Sara: So life's kind of hard all around.
Hitch (Will Smith): Not if you pay attention. I mean, you're sending all the right signals - no earings, heels under two inches, your hair is pulled back, you're wearing reading glasses with no book, drinking a Grey Goose Martini, which means you had a hell of a week and a beer just wouldn't do it. And if that wasn't clear enough, there's always the "F*ck off" sign that you have stamped on your forehead.

I love that movie.

Trouble Sleeping.

Today I felt rather accomplished--and for what reason, I do not know!

6 am-The day begins with a run through Sandy Beach, just as the world is beginning to awake to the warmth of the sunshine.
8 am-Shower, eat breakfast and get ready for work. Different morning, different flavor of Oatmeal Crisp Cereal. My favorite? Raisin (Boring--I know).
9:30 am to 4 pm-Work mowing, trimming, weeding, painting and hedging while listening to tunes on the IPod.
4:30 pm-Waterfight with dad washing the cars on the driveway. This was particularily fun and very refreshing after a day of work in the heat of the afternoon.
5:00 pm-Rowan calls, he has entered the city.
5:30 pm-Rushing to get out of dirty clothes, to do hair and makeup, so that I can look half decent for my guest. I am becoming girlier by the day--I never used to wonder what to wear. Now I can spend a good half hour staring at my clothes and wondering what seems to go best.
6:00 pm- Head out to cheer on my favorite soccer player (Go Team Lisa!) at her soccer game in the South. This is where I realized that my skirt was not the best choice to wear. Not practical--but it looked good :)
6:30 pm to 8:30 pm- Cheered on Lisa, I love that girl, she always brings a smile to my face. Also, somewhere in this time span, I managed to be signed up for the soccer team I was watching. I should enjoy this!
9:00 pm- Dinner at Fiores, didn't realize that when I went there, I'd know half the people sitting down. Thankfully I was recognized by only two on the way to our table.
10 pm to 11:30 pm- A nice moonlit drive around the city with Rowan.

And here I am. I've got my weekend all planned out, so it should be fun :)

Friday:
- Pick up glasses.
- Do gardening.
- Finish the one remaining house lawn care for the week.
- Get a CD organizer.
- Go shopping for shoes and swim shorts for Rowan.
- Go to a house warming party for a family friend.

Saturday:
- Go rafting down the river.
- Family/friend huge dinner ordeal--theme dinner night. This weeks theme? The country of Chile.

Sunday:
- Go to church.
- Volunteer at Global day of prayer as an usher and prayer buddy.

Sweet Dreams All.

Lunch Break.

I just thought I'd check my email/nexopia/everything else that keeps me wired on the internet while on my break. I've worked the past seven hours doing painting, trimming, mowing, weeding, sanding...it's quite the party :)

~Important Notice~
I have been informed today (this afternoon to be exact) that I am volunteering at Global Day of Prayer this Sunday. I am very excited. If you don't know what this day is--feel free to ask, it's amazing to be a part of.