Step Forward.

It is not good enough to be good--if you have the ability to be better...
Wouldn't it be a shame if we allowed our dreams to be comprimised by fear? What if we had the tenacity to be someone or to do something completely new and different but we gave up that dream because we were afraid of change? I've often sat and wondered what I would be capable of if I wasn't afraid of failure, or sometimes even the success of the action itself. Often with change comes feelings of dividedness; we feel complete restlessness and unsettlement. Personally, I find what scares me most is not the idea of failure--it's the idea of the unknown that we experience when we step outside of our comfort zone and suddenly we don't have the answers for every possible question that runs through our head.

...If we are growing, we're always going to be outside of our comfort zone...

All Because Of You.

Two more sleeps.

Picture Update.

Note: Yesterdays trip to the airport and todays tobogganning endeavors (there were those of us who enjoyed taking pictures more than others) can be found either on the sidebar under the link "Photo Album Part III" or by clicking here. I will continually update this album with more pictures as the week goes on! Enjoy!

Hello Sunshine.

Stay tuned for pictures at the end of the post.

Klutz.
You know that moment that you realize you shouldn't have done something--but it's too late to stop it? Well that moment happened yesterday as I was downtown with my mom shopping and I went to J walk across the street to meet her. With one swift movement, I ran across the road and decided to boldly jump the three foot snow bank to convientely land on the sidewalk next to her--sounds like a good plan in theory. As I was midway in air, I looked down over the snowbank which I had easily cleared to the sidewalk where I was supposed to land noticing it was covered in black ice. As my right foot touched down, the rest of my body slid backwards--the next thing I knew I was on the ground laughing partially because the whole thing seemed to happen in slow motion allowing me to regret the decision to jump even before I landed and partially because of the bad charlie horse I felt in my leg. I'll tell you something--I'll never do that again, or at least not for a while!

Happy Times.
From a birthday lunch with the girls, a hockey victory for a friend, seeing old friends I haven't seen in months to fitting more people in my car far than it's actual capacity and playing scattegories till three o'clock in the morning--I'd say today was a pretty good day!

Quote.
Context: Vanessa is wedged in the backseat of a two door car with more people than actually fit.
"Boys, don't get any ideas--just looking for my seatbelt!"

Four Days Remain...
...and already I am filled with excitement.



Above: Some of us decided to surprise Dave at the airport when he came in from Ottawa tonight for the break.

Above: Dave and I at the airport.

Above: Serena, Vanessa and I attempting the Charlie's Angels move.

Above: Vanessa, Dave, Serena and Fraser hanging out.

Above: Vanessa jumping on my lap.

The Heart of Life Is Good.

Pain throws your heart to the ground--love turns the whole thing around. No, it won't all go the way it should--but I know the heart of life is good, I know it's good...

Thank-You. Thank-you all for being all so thoughtful with your prayers and concern.
I Am Blessed. Friends like you don't come around everyday.
Hard times. Two weeks ago my grandma was in critical condition in the hospital.
Bad News Never Has Good Timing. She was given a ten percent chance of survival.
Praise God. For He is good and His love endures forever.
Miracles Happen. Fourteen days later, her chances of surviving increase dramatically.
Love, Hope and Faith. I see it in her smile.

Live. Love. Laugh. Learn.

Mindless Meanderings.

I wish, wishing for you to find your way and I'll hold on for all you need, that's all we need to say. I'll take my chances while you take your time with this game you play. But I can't control your soul, you need to let me know, you leaving or you gonna stay. Cause you're the only one I ever believed in, the answer that could never be found--the moment you decided to let love in. Now I'm banging on the door of an angel, the end of fear is where we begin--the moment we decided to let love in.
"Let Love In"--Goo Goo Dolls

Please hold in there grams--just fight a little bit longer. We all here for you, praying for you and believe you are strong enough to make it through this.

At the Top of All Lists.

I must admit--my university experience has been amazing and the things I've seen have been at times even mind-blowing, but everything I have seen to this point in time has been nothing in comparison to what I got to witness first hand this morning. Indeed this experience even tops the cadaver labs I participated in last term or my exercise physiology lab this year where we work out for grades and get printouts reading "Dr. Baker" (The amazing part--I didn't even have to put that prefix there). Now you're probably wondering what could top the 'high' of seeing your name placed next to the prefix "Dr." especially when medicine is the career you wish to pursue...well let me enlighten you! This morning I got to watch a biopsy procedure first hand and 'play' with the biopsy needle (worth a whopping twelve hundred dollards) in my own two hands! From the freezing, to the incision, to the injection, to the snipping of muscle fibers--I got to see it all.

Now how cool is that?

100% Goofy.

Completely Random Note: "Come Go With Me" by The Beach Boys is quite possibly the cutest, most innocent, catchy song that I've ever heard. Excuse me while I take this opportunity to crank the music and dance around the main floor while I'm home alone! Oh what my roommate doesn't see when he's not home...

The One You Knew.

I love you, I need you--though my world may fall, I'll never let you go. My Savior, my closest friend, I will worship you until the very end...
"Jesus, Lover of My Soul"~ Hillsong

It is days much like today that I find that even when I'm running on low, all things are possible through God who strengthens me. I look to the faces of those around me--my loving family and friends that care so much that it blows me away and in each of them I see the unconditional love of our Lord and Savior. I am truly greatful for everything in my life right now--harder times honestly act as reminders of how good and how sweet life really is.

Your voice is all I hear somehow.

I must bid thee adieu, it's far past my bedtime at just past two o'clock in the morning. I am off to bed to sleep in hopes that the weekend will come just that much sooner...

Jesus, Lover of My Soul.

Amazing grace--how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now am found--was blind, but now I see...

With each sunrise and day break, I am finding my strength in God growing stronger and stronger. In these last couple of days, I have been yet again reminded of how precious life is--more importantly, how precious family is. As I sat there in Room 105, surrounded by my family, close and extended, I realized this is what life is. Life is these moments that we spend sharing our greatest happiness and our deepest fears with those we love. As I held my grandma's hand and listened to my family interact with one another--I realized that tragedies, although sad, bring us closer than we could imagine.

I wanted to take this opportunity to thank everyone--to thank all of my friends who have encouraged me with love and prayers. Thank-you from the bottom of my heart for the flowers and cards I've found on my doorstep--your care has brought my family much comfort. Thank-you for the emails and the phone calls, all of it is so very appreciated, I feel so blessed to have such wonderful people in my life. My grandma wanted me to make sure I thanked each of you from her for your prayers, they mean not only the world to us, but the world to her.

"He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.'..."
2 Corinthians 12:9

Footprints.

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was
walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the
sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he
noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one
belonging to him, and the other to the Lord. When
the last scene of his life flashed before him, he
looked back at the footprints in the sand. He
noticed that many times along the path of his life
there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed
that it happened at the very lowest and saddest
times in his life. This really bothered him and he
questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, You said that
once I decided to follow you, You'd walk with me all
the way. But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life, there is only one set
of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed
you most you would leave me." The Lord replied,
"My son, My precious child, I love you and I would
never leave you. During your times of trial and
suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it
was then that I Carried You."

Undeniable Hope.

Today my day began with an early morning wake up call, we had heard news that my grandma was rushed to the hospital and that she didn't look like she was going to make it. With this news, I quickly gathered my things and got up and ready to leave. Within an hour I was ready to head out of the city due East to a small town where my grandparents live...

There is no words to describe the pain, the absolute emptiness that one feels when they see someone they love before them dying. There is no way to comprehend the feeling you feel in that moment for it's surreal, you feel like any minute you're going to wake up from the nightmare and find that everything is okay. But sadly, reality doesn't work this way and you don't wake up--for the things you see, the feelings you feel, they're all real...

As much as it hurts those being left behind, there isn't any place you'd rather be then by their side as they experience life's hardest and perhaps most painful time.

I wouldn't trade my spot next to your bed for the world--and there is no place that I'd rather be Grams then standing next to you, holding your hand.

Tomorrow begins a new day, with new hope and new prayers. Tomorrow we find strength in yesterday and tomorrow's God, for His compassions never fail. With this love, we embrace the day as we embrace each other--preparing for a surgery that has been destined for failure, a surgery that we hope will defy the odds. Grams, you're not only in our hearts but in our prayers.

No matter what the day brings, you'll find me by your bedside, holding your hand as you sleep--praying over you that God may bring you peace and comfort. We love you Grams.

Amen.

Our World Stopped.

"A child's warmth, a daughter's kiss, a grieving parent--you're dearly missed. An empty room, an empty chair, the tangible love of our friend--no longer there."~Alexandra Baker

RIP Marissa Dawn Staddon 02/01/03

It was four years ago today that my world stopped as I had found out that my beloved best friend, Marissa, had passed on in a horrific avalanche--she was merely fifteen years old. As I stand here today, my life was forever changed from that moment on. These painful memories have come to be known as defining points in my life for I fell in times of hardship--only to be lifted higher by God. I was given renewed hope for those I loved and had lost--for they lived for their Savior. From that moment on, I would do as they had taught me and follow in the footsteps...chasing after God...

..."Avalanche! Avalanche! Avalanche!", someone yelled...

The students had only seconds before the monstrous slide, estimated at more than eight-hundred and fifty yards wide moving with enough force to flatten ten acres of forest. First came a "wall of snow", one student later told wardens, and then "blackness"...Investigators would later conclude that the couple saved at least five lives. But there would be little solace in that fact. While seven youngersters and three adults survived the avalanche, another seven motivated and promising teenagers--six boys and one girl--died. (Excerpt from Sports Illustrated)

"Marissa gave me a big hug and nestled her head against my neck and said, 'Dad I love you.' And I said 'Marissa, I love you too. Have a great trip.' And that was the last time I saw her alive..." --Karl Staddon.

"There was little chance that I could save everybody," said Watkins. "You just have to save as many as possible."--Abby Watkins.

Fifteen short years. Five thousand, seven hundred and twelve glorious days.

New Pictures.

Note: Click here to go to a brand new photo album created today. A link will also be posted with the others on the sidebar. Enjoy!