All I Ever Wanted...

Define Yourself.

Is it our mistakes that defines our fate? Perhaps without them, we'd have nothing to shape our lives. For if we never veered off course, we wouldn't fall in love, or have babies, or simply be who we are. After all, we, like cities, change. People may come and go out of our lives and what we find comfort in is knowing the ones you love are always in your heart.

Now we're young, our whole life is about the pursuit of fun--but we'll soon grow up and learn to be cautious; worried that you may break a bone, or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you.Life unlike a ride has no safety net. When does life stop being fun and start being scary?

Once again I say--Define Yourself.

We may not realize it but what we do when no one is watching is a reflection of our character. No gimmicks, no cliches, no pincushion philosophies--just ourselves, plain, simple and perhaps most unappealing. It is those silent moments when no one is looking that our conscience is free from spectators, free from guilt. What would you do if you knew no one could ever find out?

In the quiet of my bedroom, in the company of only my dog, it is here that I am truly me. No facade--just me. No makeup. No style. Just Mickey Mouse pajamas and a head full of to do lists. Speaking of "To Do Lists", it is here in the eerie silence that my thoughts haunt me, they force me to feel like I've left something--or someone undone. It is here when I am my only judge that I am left with empty thoughts, and and hopeful heart...

When I Look to the Sky
Train
Dedicated to all we've loved...and lost...RIP Marissa and Megs

When it rains it pours and opens doors,
And floods the floors we thought would always keep us safe and dry...
And in the midst of sailing ships we sink our lips into the ones we love,
That have to say goodbye.

And as I float along this ocean,
I can feel you like a notion that won't seem to let me go.

Cause when I look to the sky something tells me you're here with me,
And you make everything alright,
And when I feel like I'm lost something tells me you're here with me,
And I can always find my way when you are here.

And every word I didn't say that caught up in some busy day,
And every dance on the kitchen floor we didn't dance before...
And every sunset that we'll miss I'll wrap them all up in a kiss,
And pick you up in all of this when I sail away.

Whether I am up or down or in or out or just plane overhead,
Instead it just feels like it is impossible to fly...
But with you I can spread my wings,
to see me over everything that life may send me...
When I am hoping it won't pass me by...

When I'm left to think the about life in the solitude and the privacy of my heart I'm left with emptiness--a soul left wanting something more...hoping, searching, and discovering.

God has a plan for me.